Long-Distance Elder Care – Is there an affordable, sensible solution?

Providing care for an elderly parent or relative when you live far away from them can be a difficult and frustrating issue to deal with. Nevertheless, this particular situation is becoming more and more prevalent as well as more expensive.

In fact, a recent report from the Wall Street Journal reveals a new study of 1,130 long-distance caregivers that shows the out-of-pocket cost of caring for an elderly relative who lives more than an hour away has doubled since 1997, reflecting families' growing role in managing and paying for long-term care.

What are people spending the most on in terms of long distance elder care?

• Travel
• Medicine
• Telephone bills
• Medical supplies
• Meals
• Home maintenance

Can You Make It Work?

"Long-distance caregiving is even worse than short-distance caregiving," said Linda Thomson, author of A Caregiver's Journey — You Are not Alone. "The family burden is worse than if you live close by." Likewise, Elinor Ginzler, co-author of Caring For Your Parents: The Complete AARP Guide added, “It's a juggling act of monumental proportions."

In Robert Powell’s article, Ease the Elder Care Burdens, there are a number of measures that can be taken to help ease the burden; most importantly:

• Assess the need
• Keep important documents in order
• Visit as often as you can

Assess the Need

According to Ginzler, because “you don't have the opportunity to experience day-to-day physical contact with a family member, it's important to establish a formal and informal (or both) types of support networks."

For a formal network, you should consider hiring a professional elder care manager who can assess a family member's needs as well as provide ongoing case management, pay bills, handle correspondence and so forth. Ginzler also suggests establishing an informal support network of neighbors and family members who live near an aging parent to ensure that the reports you are getting from a caretaker parallel the information you might receive from friends and neighbors.

Keep Important Documents in Order

It is suggested that caregivers and their family members complete an emergency information sheet including the contact numbers for their family member's doctors, lawyers, neighbors and so forth and distribute to anyone who might have contact with the elder. Adult children also need to make sure that all legal and financial paperwork such as wills, living wills, powers of attorney and health-care proxies, are accessible and in good order.

Visit as Often as You Can

According to Sandra Timmermann, director of MetLife's Mature Market Institute, long-distance caregivers should visit their older family members every few months to check for signs of trouble, such as changes in personal hygiene, the condition of the house and signs of chores not being done. And because people typically get caught up with all the work that needs to be done, it is important to also schedule some pleasant, relaxing family time into every visit.